Following Your Child's Lead

One of my favourite, easy-to-use strategies for parents of late talkers is the idea of following the child's lead during play. Essentially, this means talking about what s/he is looking at, and shifting when the child shifts. So if you are playing with a ball and you are labeling "ball!" and "roll the ball!" and "throw it!" and all that great language about ball games, then your child moves on to grabbing for some nearby dinosaur toys - you shift straight into talking about dinosaurs. You abandon the ball and move along with your child's changing attention to the dinosaurs ("roar!" and "T-rex is coming!" and "He's hungry, look out!"). What this does is MATCHES the words your child is hearing with the experiences s/he is having. If you try to keep the ball game going with "hey, look, I'm bouncing the ball! Over here!" and the child has a velociraptor in his/her hands, what you have is a (potentially confusing) mis-match. The child is looking at a dinosaur but hearing "ball."

In contrast, hearing the word that MATCHES for the toy in his/her hands or whatever s/he is looking at builds a meaningful association between the word and the real thing. This is what language learning is all about!

So try paying attention to how you typically use words with your toddler - are you matching your language to his/her experiences, or are you calling him/her away from something else to pay attention to what you're offering? It's easy to fall into the habit of trying to engage your child in something you've chosen yourself, especially when it may not be obvious that your child is truly engaged in what s/he may be looking at (thinking "oh, he's just playing with the velcro on his shoe... "). I tell ya, toddlers play with and explore pretty much anything they can get their hands on. So tune in and talk to them about it! (Even the shoe velcro, the bird poop on the sidewalk, and the wheels on the bottom of your office chair. It's all fair game.)

Disclaimer: I do not mean to endorse letting your children do anything they please, of course. Safety rules still apply!